I walked out of the school gates and there was my new stepdad shouting my name. He was waving out of the top of one of those campervans with the striped fabric push-up roof. I googled it later - a dormobile. I can’t remember whether it was a VW or not. I was fourteen years old at the time.
Read MoreI walked down the stairs, and there he was, the artist, let’s call him Mr P — bouncing across the stage, zipped up in a sleeping bag painted to look like poop. It was absurd, hilarious, and, somehow, completely serious.
Read MoreWho in their right mind rocks up in Milan, doesn't check any kind of ticketing situation, and just bowls up at The Last Supper? I walked towards her. They say the devil wears Prada. Take it from me; she wasn't wearing Prada. My devil wore a tight nylon security uniform with red eyeshadow and a truncheon.
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